I often find myself immersed in situations and conversations that throw me into a bit of a quandary. They make me think about race, and racial relations in the U.S., but especially here in Los Angeles, as well as my place within all this. Here are just a handful of examples, since this type of stuff happens to me all the time:
…..A few weeks back, my brother baptized his son. It was a traditional Catholic event and many of our cousins attended a reception at our house afterwards. This got me thinking about how resilient tradition and religion are, although I personally, don’t always take part in all the rituals. In fact, I’ve been a bit of a black sheep in my family for almost actively refusing to experience some long-standing Latin or Catholic traditions. But, I’m not the only one. For me, the most blatant example is that fact that I didn’t have a quinceniera. It’s not that I didn’t want one, I was just indifferent to it, and thought that it seemed like a lot of planning and spending for something I didn’t really care too much to have or experience. By this time, I had already taken part in several and attended more than my share, as well.
Anyway, during the reception, it was interesting to see many aunts and cousins, and to talk about our collective history. We talked about the “Gutierrez” last name, for example. My aunts always like to tout the fact that we have French and Spanish heritage. My response? I definitely relish and appreciate my cultural heritage, and am glad to know I have an interesting, mixed background, like many Mexicans, Mexican-Americans, and other South Americans, and Filipinos do, I suppose. This is not because I am “Eurocentric”, but because I enjoy the mix that many post-colonial societies and culture offer. Personally, I try not to romanticize my indigenous or European heritage. I only wish that more people could understand this about Latino heritage.
….During a night out, my friend and I discussed race and race relations. She is Irish-Italian and admitted that though she is certainly not racist, she finds some people from certain cultures to be ill-mannered and rude, Mexicans and Koreans, namely. She went on to give me details and even firsthand accounts. (I heard a similar comment from a Russian-American guy I met a few weekends back, about the Chinese in China, after his visit there.) My response? I think education and manners must be taught and learned, and I suppose that in some cultures this varies, and must also come with social mobility and exposure, right? Later that same night, I ended up in front of the a bar in West Hollywood just after closing, talking to a (very cute) Chinese-American, a Turkish-German and white German, as well as with a couple of French journalists. Welcome to L.A.! At one point the Chinese-American guy said something to me about Hispanics and Chinese being the new majority here, and how we have to stick together. My response? I told him that I didn’t necessarily think we have to form racial coalitions or alliances to move forward, and that it didn’t have to be that way. But, I couldn’t help but think about it. Do we have to stick together? Is everything really this political? And does it have to be that way? Also, I never used to think of myself as a “woman of color”, but lately I’ve come to recognize that others certainly perceive me this way.
….At a party recently, a couple I know was commenting on the seemingly random adoption of colloquialisms by some of their Mexican-American friends. Another person also commented on a visit to a family’s home, where all of the children had tradition African names, though they were obviously, modern African-Americans. This is so intriguing because the U.S. is overflowing with different cultural Diasporas, and such a mishmash of conscientious and passive acceptance of old and new customs alike. All this got me thinking about the role that names and language have, culturally speaking. It’s amazing, and also a bit of a shame really, to see how many Spanish-speaking immigrants lose their ability to converse in Spanish, just one or two generations in. This has happened in my family, where I am constantly corrected by Mexican cousins, uncles and aunts, and grandparents. In any case, I struggle to articulate myself in both English and Spanish. But, this is especially true in Spanish. Ideally, I could know and learn both languages well. Then I thought about whether or not I should change my name to Erica Gutierry or something like that to fit in? Wait, or should I change it to Xochitl Gutierrez to try and rid myself of my post-colonial heritage? It turns out names do matter, and not just in Hollywood or for the stars! I’ve seen cases of this all over the world from Japan to Spain to France. Well, rest assured, I won’t be changing my name any time soon!
….Last week, I attended a Hammer Museum lecture on “suburbanization” and poverty. Though, it was certainly intriguing to hear about the changing face of Los Angeles suburbs such as South Gate, Cudahy, and Bell Gardens, I felt the speaker was propagating the stereotype of the poor, working class Latino and of, in contrast, middle class whites. I’m not saying it’s not true, especially in neighborhoods such as these, but I have also lived a different reality, and was surrounded by generations of middle and even upper class Latinos, Asians and Whites, growing up, all of whom experienced privilege firsthand. Did I grow up in an especially integrated and middle class region of L.A.? And why doesn’t anyone talk about cases such as these? I suppose it will take history books and academics another 50 years to catch up with these narratives that completely break out of old stereotypes, propagated in part by truth, given continued working class immigration and social stagnation, but also in part and perhaps even more so, by a focus on these types of polarized narratives by academics themselves. It’s as if it is easier to hold the magnifying glass of sociological critique through pre-ordained filters of race and status focusing on the ethnic other, and the poor. Yet all the interesting stories, films and media, have very little to say about certain diverse groups. My response? Isn’t it about time we focused on stories of Chinese suburbanization and Mexican-American social mobility, instead? Or at the very least, as well? On a positive not, I see this as a burgeoning literary trend, with so much room for growth and improvement.
….The other night, I went to the W Hotel in Hollywood for a Latino Professionals Networking event. The theme was Argentine nights or something of that sort. I went after work and met my sister, who had driven in to meet me from the San Gabriel Valley. As expected, the scene was vibrant. Who doesn’t like a rooftop pool after all? It was great to see so many young Latinos (and other races) mixing and mingling. I have to admit, I often project my own stereotypes at events like this (or in any club) bored by the abundance of superficial and meaningless conversations. I also like to attend events with lots of diversity, generally speaking, not necessarily catering or representative of any racial heritage, so to speak.
Well, I ended up talking to this Brazilian guy at the end of the night who happened to have Italian roots. His family had moved from Italy to Brazil and now he is living in Alhambra, California. I use his story to illustrate how amazing it is to think about how generations change from one to another, and how each family and individual can carry these many identities within them. It was also funny to hear his pronunciation of Alhambra. It was more like “Alaa-haambra”. He talked about his mostly positive exposure to Asian culture there, about his inability to dance salsa, and about his many visits to Sonoma and Napa. My response? I concurred on all points. Most Mexicans (or Mexican-Americans) don’t really dance salsa, not well anyway! And if we do, we work at it. We usually grow up dancing cumbias or rancheras. 
And this also ties into class. Rancheras are sort of the equivalent of country music in the U.S. And, each part of Latin America has its own type of music and dance, though I suppose these styles overlap, come together, and change in the U.S., and over time. I would love to improve my salsa skills. And, I also appreciate the Latin and Asian influences in the San Gabriel Valley where I’m originally from. And, why have I still not been to Napa… or to Brazil?!
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For reasons that I can’t fully explain, this also brought on a surge of nostalgia for me. I thought about my time in Barcelona, the pace of life there, the people, the diversity– a mix of Catalans, Middle-Eastern, South American, African, Asian, and other European immigrants.
And, I thought about the wine there…
As I begin to more fully adapt to the pace of life in L.A., I also feel like I am forgetting my arguable bohemian and European experience in Barcelona. But, it’s not as simple as that, and I’m certainly looking at things through rose-tinted lenses. Barcelona is not perfectly Bohemian after all, especially if you live in some of the posh neighborhoods like Sarria or in L’Eixample. And, Los Angeles can be very Bohemian in its own right. I mean Venice is definitely counter-culture, as are parts of the East side. And, I live in a tiny studio in Beverly Hills. Does that not count as just a little Bohemian?
Also, if I were an actual European living in L.A., I am sure I would continue to live like one, so to speak. There are so many opportunities to do so with hundreds of cafes and restaurants, that have French, Spanish and Bristish, or Irish influence, for example, including those carrying out the “small plates” trend most recently. And though Spanish, Italian and French wines seem so far away, I can keep indulging in great Californian and even South American wine! And even European ones, of course, though I have far fewer to choose from here!
Aside from this, there is so much history, culture and even open spaces, that often seem to transport me back to my time in Barcelona, Paris or even Rome! I suppose I just need to be proactive about seeking it out!
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But, I digress, what I love best about Los Angeles is that there really is no need to shed your own unique cultural identity here. Yet I believe many people do in order to “mainstream themselves”, making it easier to fit in, and in doing so, exchanging tradition for modernity, and ethnicity for something perhaps a little less exotic. I certainly yearn for modernity, especially here in Los Angeles where it seems the future has always held the most promise, and where the past is really shifting sand, not easily and accurately portrayed in any history or textbook. Mainstream media, film and literature have consistently failed to capture the nuances of culture, race and geography here, and it’s a shame since Hollywood has been so successful around the world and such an open door to the reigns of the imagination.
This applies to any culture. One only need drive or visit the Fairfax area of L.A. and see how orthodox Jews continue to live in Los Angeles, as if it were still the 1940s or something. (And it’s the same in parts of NYC.) Yet at the same time, didn’t the Jews also “invent Hollywood” and have at least have some major role in the making of Wall Street? OK, I know this is sensitive territory, but I mean it in a positive way. (Trust me, I have many Jewish friends and acquaintances, and have even dated a few Jewish men.) While in Barcelona, I also met so many different people of Jewish descent, including some from Latin-America, and in fact, the Jewish community had a huge cultural, political and financial role in the history of Barcelona, and in Spain before the Reconquista. What I am trying to illustrate with this Jewish example, is that all cultures are multifarious, embracing their past, evolving, and contributing to the making of American history, and to history in general. So what is my response? Well, for me, this story is just as complex. As a second generation Mexican-American, who in many ways “transcends” this identify, as someone once put it, I definitely feel this is true. I am profusely thankful for the constant curation of art exhibitions, films, and media outlets that despite the odds and corporate interests, continue to challenge boring, meta-narratives. And ultimately, above all else, I value individual and personal expression.
Though I have a strong urge to assimilate to mainstream American culture, I also don’t really know what that means! I often cling to my Mexican-American heritage even more strongly than I ever thought possible, especially when I am home in L.A., where I am constantly surrounded by it. Sometimes I feel as though I’m straddling two oceans of culture, and I cannot help but wish the chaotic tides and waves would somehow stop crashing against each other, and instead, self-synchronize and harmonize. And yet, when they do, I feel a loss. I don’t want to lose my unique cultural identity. Regardless of complex race relations and changing demographics, the fact remains that L.A. offers space enough for everyone from Asian, to African to Latin to White. And as I write those words or generic, oversimplified labels, I already begin to decompress them. What is Asian? What is African? What is Latin? And what is White? I don’t think anybody truly likes to be pigeonholed. Or do they? Those categories seem to exclude more than they include.
As a person who acknowledges that culture is all-encompassing, I see how sometimes it’s easier to try to fit in, than to keep clinging to traditions that create more dissonance. But people can’t change the color of their skin. Or can they? I guess Michael Jackson and others have tried! Don’t some Asians try to make their eyes bigger, too? Crazy people, crazy world! It reminds me of that one episode of the Twilight Zone. The one about aesthetics and beauty with those aliens from outer space. (But this is random.) Still, I wonder about this: Is a “white American” from South Dakota or the Midwest more at home in Los Angeles than a Mexican-American, Chinese or Korean-American? No. Similarly, are Russian, Polish and German immigrants here easier to accept than Indian, Colombian or other more “ethnic” immigrants? Again, I suppose the “correct” answer should be no, but this also gets to the root of another problem, the construction of the white race.
And it gets more complicated than that, like when I asked a blonde cousin of mine about her experiences, and she explained that nobody ever believes she has Mexican heritage. My response? At the end of the day, it really isn’t just about physical appearance. It really isn’t, and I firmly believe this in the U.S. It goes much, much deeper than that. It’s about how we think and act. For example, I once had a very good friend of mostly Jewish heritage tell me that in order to progress in American society, it was necessary to understand the psychology of the the “WASP” or of the White Anglo-saxon Protestant. This advice continues to resonate with me, probably because there is a lot of truth in it. But is this changing? And at the same time, I think what matters more is how people contribute to society. Nowadays, we see talent and skills coming from all sorts of new and diverse faces. And dare I say that it is also more accepted.
Perhaps this post is more of a giant question mark intertwined with my own myriad of experiences in L.A., as well as those abroad, just as it is an attempt to critique how others discuss and perceive issues such as these; it’s most certainly meandering and open-ended. To conclude, as demographics in Los Angeles continue to change, it will be interesting to see how culture and race relations also develop. I look forward to seeing how mainstream media outlets especially, adapt to these changes, hopefully reflecting the changing reality of our times and geography. I imagine that, similarly, people of all walks of life and cultural backgrounds will also need to learn to interact peacefully, and I hope the L.A. geography and culture continues to foster, and not hinder, tolerance and respect. I am also especially eager to see the continued self-expression of individuals like myself, and of my colleagues, in blogs, in Youtube, and through social media. I can’t help but feel that these types of accessible communication outlets, continue to hold tremendous promise for generations to come.
